Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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