Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
