Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
