well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
