Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
