I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
