so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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