weddingsv make me drug and hornr
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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