I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
