Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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