I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
