I think my vagina is haunted
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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