so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
