to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
