ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My friends, they love my intelligence
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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