I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
