Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
