I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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