me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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