part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
