I wish I only lived at night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
