why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
