Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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