i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
