Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
