I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
