Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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