Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
