How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
