so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
