Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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