Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
