omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
