If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You're like the curious george of whores
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Vodka?
Forever.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
