Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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