But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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