I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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