I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
