Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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