The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Success! We fucked roommates!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
