i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
