My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
