I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
