She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
