he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
