it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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