my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
