worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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