i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
