i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
not ubering you a puppy
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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