Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize