there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
