grandma shit on top of the toilet
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
