I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
