My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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