i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
