i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's official drugs can't kill me
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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