i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
