Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
