How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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