No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
