I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize