Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
