Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize