Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
