Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
