Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
