The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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