mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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