she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
